Fitbit Report: January 8-14

I’ve been thinking of writing this type of entry for a very long time, but I don’t know if I’ve actually done one. Since 2014, I’ve been working on losing weight in a way that I can maintain. I’m not a recovering dieter or anything; I’ve never dieted at all, actually. Nope, my problem has been medicating my mental illness with the terrific trio: caffeine, sugar, and chocolate.

More than that, I’ve actually used food as a passive suicide method for years. People would definitely react if I used an active method, but if I have seconds? If I have dessert? This is America; no one even batted an eye at my unhealthy eating habits. Yeah, it’s a longterm strategy, but there are definitely diseases that will cut a few decades off your life if you do what I was doing.

Right, so when my husband and I were engaged, he asked me point blank to take better care of myself so that I would live longer. So I’ve been working on it. I’m down 60 pounds so far, and I’ve been roughly within a 10 pound range for almost 2 years now. Some days, it’s frustrating to have stalled out, but at least I’m stable. I’ve also managed to mellow out a bit (having dessert occasionally, eating without avoid all sugars, etc.) and I still haven’t gained the weight back, so things are good so far.

At this point, it’s probably going to be exercise that moves me forward. I thought I should start posting the weekly reports from my fitbit for a bit of accountability.


Keep in mind that it’s still well below freezing here, so I can’t go outside. In the summer and fall, most of my exercise came from walking Dora in the local parks, so it’s been a struggle to do anything lately. Even so, next week should look a bit better.


Day 51 With Dora

I’m pretty tired. We walked around 5 miles today, split between 2 different walks. Why? 

  1. The temperature was 30 degrees higher today than yesterday.
  2. Generation 2 in Pokémon GO released last night.

I haven’t actually seen these before, since I stopped watching the show before they reached these guys, and I never owned a Gameboy.

Overall, I’ve caught 12 new ones so far today, which is decent progress.

As a side effect, Dora has gotten a really good amount of exercise, and she is napping very well now. She sniffed so many things, saw several people and their dogs, scared about 45 geese into a pond, and had a great time. In general, she is getting much better at walking on a leash, but I need to be better at consistency with correcting her pulling.

Some days, I have the energy and time to make her stop when she pulls and to stand there until she relaxes enough to be ready to keep walking. On other days, I just want to walk. Today… today was more of the latter. But consistency matters most in teaching Dora to walk nicely, so I should try to do better.

Otherwise, I logged into Duolingo for the first time in a while and discovered they have chat bots for French now! 

I enjoyed talking to them more than I probably should, but they just rolled with my typos and underwhelming fluency. (Though I still maintain that if someone asked me “Do you want a sandwich or a salad?” and I said “A sandwich, please,” they would understand me even though it was a grammatical fragment.) 😑 Oh well. 

It has been a pretty good day mentally and physically. 

Fitbit: Feb. 6-12

Warning: I talk about suicide in this post.

I have a purple Charge 2 that I wear almost constantly, because I want a heart monitor. As a side effect, I get slightly warped fitness stats emailed to me weekly. I say “warped” because the days that I spend 2-3 hours on the couch crocheting usually have 5,000 more steps than the days that I exercise more, so it’s clear that some of my steps aren’t actually steps.

Regardless, taking care of my body is a part of my growth process, so I thought it might be worth posting these from time to time. It’s still relatively new for me: I’ve only cared about my longevity for a little more than 2 years. Before that? Well…

Honestly, if I took an obvious path towards suicide, people would notice. Chemicals or injuries are very obvious. Overeating is slow and subtle, and in America, it’s rude to tell people that they are having too much to eat, so it is a very smooth road. Full plates, dessert when it’s offered, and self-medicating pain with sugar… it was easy but insidious.

As I came into my marriage, The Flutenist asked me to stop. To take care of myself. To live. 

I was… surprised might be too weak of a word to contain my reaction to being loved and wanted. As someone who had believed that if she died, she would fade into the aether, and the people around her would be subtly happier without being able to remember why… having someone ask me point blank to give him as many years of my life as I could was… like I said “surprising” is just not strong enough.

I took him seriously. 

I have lost 55 pounds so far, by making small changes and being consistent. (Read: I cut out refined sugar entirely for months, I stopped self-medicating with chocolate-caffeine-sugar combos, and I started eating smaller portions.)

My BMI is 30.0 right now. 😑 Still obese, but just barely. My mom bought me a body composition analyzer for my birthday (at my request 🎉), so I will soon be able to temper that number with my % body fat. I suspect that the average healthy weight range for my gender/height/age may actually be too low for my body type, so I’d rather focus on maintaining a healthy fat level.

I had been exercising fairly frequently (about 45 minutes per day on the weekdays) before winter hit, but from November on, it’s been dicey here. My routine is ruined, and I can’t use my membership for the local indoor track (they have given us permission to bring my emotional support dog) because The Flutenist wants to wait until she’s better trained and/or has earned full public access first. It’s a good call, but it also prevents me from going.

At the very least, I’m holding pretty steady over the winter. Just going up and down a few pounds total. That bodes well for spring.